ruled by the ego

Are you ruled by the ego?

In Psychology by Ivory MagazineLeave a Comment

One of the main signs you’re being led by your ego is the need to always be right.  In most cases this is involuntary, and it’s especially hard to notice if you’re not aware of how the ego operates.

The ego is something we create.  It’s a combination of all the beliefs we have about who we are.  These are constructed beliefs and actually create a false identity.  According to Freud, the ego is the part of us that prevents us from acting on our basic urges, but it also works to achieve a balance with our moral and idealistic standards.  It is often the strongest part of our personalities and plays a key role in creating emotional drama in our lives.

Here are some signs you’re being led by the ego:

1. You feel the urge to interrupt people to make a point. The ego is always hungry for attention, so when it notices that you’re missing on a great opportunity to jump in and make a point, it will act.

2. You can’t pay attention during a conversation. When you’re ruled by the ego, it’s really hard to genuinely listen.  Most of the time you’re just waiting for a break to tell your version or to point something out.

3. You are not open to ideas, criticism or opinions. The ego is not looking for outside influence or assistance.  It is the king of its realm.  Whenever people approach you with new ideas or opinions, you’re most likely to quickly discard them.

4. You feel bad when you’re interrupted. When you have the urge to always be right, being interrupted is not acceptable.  It’s rude!  Unless you’re the one cutting other people off, of course.

5. You dislike being corrected or criticised. When you have no control over your ego, it will fatally give you what I like to call:  the “Mr. Right” attitude.  Mr. Right feels profoundly hurt when people say it to his face that he is wrong.  Mr. Right can, and will, turn bitter when this happens.

6. Your relationship is in constant war mode. As I’ve pointed before, the ego is the supreme ruler of its world.  You don’t need to think too hard to understand how terrible this could be for relationships.

These are just a few examples.  When you really think about it, the need to be right is nothing but a waste of time and energy.  I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer:

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”

Give it up!  You don’t need the attention.  And you certainly don’t need to prove anything to others.  Many of us have the false belief that giving up the need to always be right means we’re accepting what’s wrong.  That’s absolutely not true.  It means that you’ve stopped worrying.  Seeking approval is no longer a necessity.

How others perceive you is their problem, and that’s a beautiful place to be.  Be kind and let go.  Let others be right.  Whenever you feel the urge to jump in and prove a point, just nod and smile.  Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is look others in the eyes, and listen.  Let them know that you’re 100% there.

Right or wrong, who cares?

By Rod Gomes

Ivory MagazineAre you ruled by the ego?

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